


The Love Connection

by SmolderingFlame



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bottom Kyle, Crack, Dating, Drug Use, Feminine Kyle, High School, Humor, K2 - Freeform, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Possible Threesome, Top Stan, Underage Drinking, competing for affection, everyone wants to have sex with kyle, kyle got hot, style, top cartman, top kenny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-06 21:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolderingFlame/pseuds/SmolderingFlame
Summary: After two long years of being in Denver at a snooty boarding school, Kyle is finally coming home. His friends are ecstatic to see him, but, are rather shocked when they see how much the redhead has changed since he has been away. Now, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman, have to compete against each other to see who will win over the hot redhead.





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> So, I always loved the idea of everyone wanting to bang Kyle haha. He is just so cute! So, I wanted to do a fic and try out three different pairings. I don't know how it will go, if their will be a threesome, if it will be one of the three pairings that wins in the end, I guess we will all just have to wait and see. Also, the girls are included in this rp will actually be friendly to Kyle and help him out. Most fics I read have them all being bitches, so, I wanted to change that a bit.
> 
> So, what do you think of our lucky bachelors? 
> 
> Enjoy the story! If you like, please consider leaving a kudos or comment to let me know if I should continue or not.

It was an unusually festive night at the Broflovski household, cars were parked outside, music was playing, and several adults and teens were making their way into the home. Tonight was a special night; Kyle was finally coming home after two years of boarding school in Denver. Money had gotten a bit tight, so, Sheila and Gerald were forced to bring their oldest son home, deciding he would finish his last year of high school at South Park High. It wasn’t exactly what they wanted, South Park didn’t have the greatest educational system, but, Kyle seemed so excited to come home and see his friends again.

 

“Man, I can’t believe Kyle is finally coming home. I’m glad his mom decided to let him out of his POW camp.” A blond in torn jeans and tattoos covering his arms said with a smirk. “Things haven’t been the same without our little red head around.” He mused, moving to put out his cigarette before he even got close to the Broflovski household. If Kyle’s mom even got a whiff of cigarette smoke he was dead.

 

“Dude, I know. Kyle has been so bummed being there. He said everyone who went to that school was just a rich asshole. His mom wouldn’t even let him come back for the breaks because she wanted him to study.” A handsome, muscular brunette wearing a varsity football jacket said, taking a swig out of a flax before hiding it in his pocket.

 

“Oh wow, who cares if the fucking Jew is back! It has been so totally awesome that Kahl has been gone for two beautiful years. I haven’t been constantly nagged at by that ginger bitch.” A surprisingly muscular brunette said with a scowl, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

The three teens made their way to the front door when it opened, revealing a plump redheaded woman with a smile on her face.

 

“Kenneth, Stanley, Eric, I’m so glad you boys could make it! Kyle is so excited to see all of his little friends.” Sheila Broflovski said in her Jersey accented voice. “Come in, come in!” She said, ushering the trio in.

 

It looked like Sheila had invited most of the neighborhood to the welcome home party for Kyle, and, everyone was chatting and enjoying themselves, well, except for Kyle, who wasn’t even downstairs yet.

 

“Thank you Misses Broflovski.” The trio said together, watching as the older woman made her way into the kitchen.

“God, Kyle’s mom is such a fucking bitch. Can you believe she threw this lame ass party for him?” Cartman said, looking unimpressed by everything around him. “If I went to some faggy private school for two years, my coming home party would be even better than this.” He stated simply.

 

“Dude, why did you even come if you are just going to bitch?” Stan asked, frowning as he followed after Kenny.

 

“It’s because he wants to fuck Kyle, Stan, it’s so obvious. Fatass is just obsessed with him.” Kenny pointed out with a wry smirk.

 

This, of course, made Cartman fume up. “What!? No fucking way Kinny! I’d never want to fuck that day walking ginger Jew!” He said defensively.

 

“Yeah, whatever you say, Cartman.” Kenny said, looking over at Stan who just rolled his eyes.

 

Stan was about to say something when his phone lit up with a text. “Hey, it’s Kyle, he’s saying we should come up to his room and say hi. I guess he isn’t so happy his mom his throwing this party for him.” He said, putting his phone in his pocket. He looked around, and, when Gerald and Sheila were preoccupied, he led the way up the stairs towards the red head’s bedroom.

 

Coming to a familiar door with a small sign on it that simply read ‘Kyle’, Stan stopped in front of it and simply knocked.

 

“Just a second!” A familiar voice cried out, before the door opened up. “Oh god, it’s so good to see you guys again! It feels like I’ve been released from prison. I’m even happy to see you, Fatass.” A red head said with a laugh.

 

The trio, even Cartman, were speechless when the door opened up and revealed the person behind it. This person…it…it didn’t look like Kyle, not their Kyle! Last they checked, Kyle had a untamed Jew-fro underneath his green ushanka hat, but this person had soft red hair with loose curls that went down to his chin. Their Kyle had a lanky, skinny body that always looked like he wasn’t eating enough; this person was filled out, having some seriously great proportions, especially in the hip and ass areas. Their Kyle had tons of freckles on his face, but this person just had a small amount that went perfectly over his nose. Last but not least, their Kyle always wore his orange coat, this person was dressed with some semblance of style, wearing a pair of hip hugging jeans, and, a maroon long sleeved shirt.

 

Kyle raised an eyebrow when his three friends just stood there staring at him, not even saying anything. He was expecting some hellos, some hugs, even a fuck you Jew from Cartman, but, they were all just gaping. “Um…you guys okay? Don’t tell me you smoked a bunch of weed before you came here. Come on you guys, you act like morons when you do that, and if my mom smelled it on any of you, and we’re all fucked.” He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I don’t even want to know.” He said, before going over to Stan first.

 

“Stan, you look amazing! I can’t believe you bulked up so much in two years! I guess you decided to stick with football after all.” The redhead said with a giggle, causing the jock to blush a bit. “How is Wendy?” Kyle asked.

 

“Who?” Stan replied, looking like he was too busy looking at something else.

 

“Wendy…your girlfriend?” Kyle said, looking a bit confused at how his super best friend was acting.

 

“Oh, that Wendy! Nah, Dude, we broke up.” Stan said, coughing a bit and rubbing the back of his neck. “So you know, living that single life right now… Just wanted to play the field a bit.” He said, trying to inconspicuously look his best friend up and down, his eyes landing on those gorgeous wide hips…

 

“Wow, sorry to hear that Stan. If you need to talk about it, or need anything, you know I’m here for you.” Kyle said in a concerned tone, giving his friend a smile before looking at Kenny.

 

“Ken, you got more tattoos, I thought you said sleeves were for douchebags.” The redhead said, giggling once again. “Well, I guess you can actually pull them off, they look good on you.” He said, making the blond smirk a bit.

 

“Well, what can I say; I do what I can to please.” Kenny said with a smile. He moved a bit and ran into a shelf, knocking a book over and watching as it fell to the ground. “Shit, let me get that.” He said, making a big scene of trying to pick it up.

 

“Oh, it’s no problem, I can get it.” Kyle said with a sweet smile, moving to grab the book, bending down and giving all three a good look at his now larger and fuller ass.  After a few moments he got back up and put the book away. “No worries.” He said kindly.

 

“Yeah…no worries at all….” Kenny said, trying to burn that image into his mind. He was definitely going to use that later for whack off material. He never thought he would be jerking it to Kyle, but damn, did he look fine!  


“Fatass.” Kyle said simply, looking at Cartman. “Wow, you’re not as big of a fatass as you were when I left, did you actually learn to stop eating a can of frosting for a snack?” He asked dryly.

 

Usually Cartman would have made a big scene by freaking out on the smaller teen for calling him fat, but, he was surprisingly calm. “Fuck off…bitch…” He said, his insult lacking its usual zest and showmanship. “I guess it’s nice to see you, I mean, at least someone can shut that fucking bitch Wendy up now. Now she has another bitch to compete with.” He said, trying to not make it obvious he was looking at the red head’s soft looking hair, those curls, they were so perfect! What kind of Jew magic was this!?

 

“Thanks Cartman, glad to see you haven’t changed that much.” Kyle said with a sigh, before smiling. “Hey, let’s go downstairs. If my mom catches us all up here she will think we are doing drugs or having an orgy or something.” He said with a laugh, moving to make his way past the trio.

 

As Kyle was on his way down to the party, the three boys just looked at each other. Though, not a word was spoken, they knew what each other were thinking. Kyle had gotten damn hot at boarding school, and there could be only one friend who moved to the next level with the gorgeous redhead.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Bachelor Number One: Stan Marsh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan Marsh decides he is going to go from Kyle's friend, to Kyle's main man. Besides, who would be better for Kyle then his super best friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you are enjoying the story! The next few chapters are going to introduce you to our eligible bachelors and them attempting to woo Kyle.
> 
> This chapter has Style and Stan is one of my favorite characters so I'm trying not to give him too much of an advantage over everyone else.
> 
> Also I tried to be funny, I don't know if it worked or not, but, enjoy anyways!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!

**Meet Stan Marsh, Stan is quite the eligible bachelor at South Park High School. Stan is the quarterback for the varsity football team, sporting the bod to match. Stan cares about the environment, he drives a fucking Prius. Stan plays an acoustic guitar, and knows every song by Oasis, yeah, even Wonderwall. Stan only get’s shitfaced drunk on weekends now and stopped drinking rubbing alcohol. Stan Marsh, Super Best Friend, obvious choice to fuck Kyle Broflovski.**

Kyle was so happy to be back at South Park High, he never thought he would ever think that, but, it was so much better than that stupid school in Denver. He smiled; he had even managed to get his old locker right next to Stan’s back. Today was his first day back, and, he was surprised how nice everyone was being to him! He didn’t remember Clyde or Token or even Craig being so nice to him. He honestly had no idea why.

 

He wanted to look nice for his first day back, so, he decided to wear the thick black leggings he bought in Denver, along with a rather flowy white peasant blouse. One of the things he did like about Denver was learning to be more comfortable with himself, and, dressing how he wanted. He would have never worn this outfit back when he was a freshman. The only thing he didn’t think about was how cold it was going to be out today, he had completely forgot to bring a jacket with him.

 

He was finishing putting his books away when the locker next to him opened up.  He closed his and smiled when he saw it was Stan. Stan must have just finished football practice because he was still in his pads and jersey, looking pretty sweaty. His black locks were sticking to his forehead and he had his gym bag hoisted on his shoulders.

 

“Hey Stan, just finish practice?” The red head asked, smiling as he rested his back against the lockers.

 

“Yeah, it was rough today, but, Coach says there is a good chance I could be MVP this year in Colorado.” Stan said with a charming smile, trying to keep his eyes on Kyle’s face. God, Kyle looked so good today! He especially loved the leggings, the damn leggings! They showed off that perfectly pert ass of his and it was really hard to keep his eyes off of it.

 

“Wow, that’s awesome Stan! I’ll make sure to come to your games now that I’m back.” Kyle said with a smile, noticing Stan had shifted closer to him, close enough that he could smell his body spray on him. He noticed how the brunette’s muscular arm rested above his head.

 

“I’d really like that Kyle. I think I would play so much better knowing you were out there, watching me.” The brunette said. “I really missed you, you know. Things felt empty with you gone, kinda like time just stopped almost.” Stan said earnestly, moving to lower his arm from where it was above Kyle’s head so he could take his hand.

 

“Oh Stan…I felt the same way about you…” Kyle said, smiling a bit. “I missed you so much; you’re my super best friend.” The red head added. “You’ve really grown up so much since I last saw you. You didn’t use to be so…open to your emotions…” He said.

 

Stan continued to smile. Yes, he meant what he said, but, he also knew Kyle liked when he could be sensitive. If he wanted to be Kyle’s boyfriend, not just friend, he'd have to show off that sensitive side, besides, Kenny and Cartman couldn’t be sensitive and romantic if their lives depended on it, and this was how he would get him! This plan was perfect!

 

The brunette cleared his throat a bit. “Listen, tonight, sneak out with me and we can go to Stark’s Pond, just the two of us, try and catch up. I’ll make sure you know I’m outside waiting for you.” He added, giving Kyle’s hand a squeeze.  “What do you say Kyle, we haven’t gone down to pond since before you left for Denver.”

 

Kyle smiled a bit and moved to playfully slap Stan’s padded chest. “Sure, I’d like that Stan. My parents have been taking ambien to sleep and they basically go into a coma at night, so, I don’t really have to worry about getting caught. Well, unless I managed to piss Ike off and he blabs to my mom, it should be cool.”

 

“Sweet, I’ll come and get you tonight, okay. I have a Prius now, so, I can pick you up.” Stan said, before nodding his head. “Yeah, I drive a Prius, I’m all about protecting the environment, but, you know I always have been.”  He said, trying to appeal to Kyle’s high moral standing.

 

“Sounds good, I’m looking forward to it. I’ve missed hanging out with you.” The red head said with a smile before shivering a bit. “Man, I can’t believe I forgot my coat, its fucking freezing out!” He said with a sigh.

 

At that, the brunette put his gym bag down, unzipped it, and grabbed his letterman jacket.  Without warning, he moved to drape the jacket on Kyle’s shoulders. Of course the jacket was huge on the petite red head, while Stan stood at over six feet; Kyle was only about five foot eight, not to mention the muscle mass difference.

 

“Stan, you don’t have to do that… But, it is pretty comfortable, it reeks of Axe though! Dude, when did you start wearing that shit?” Kyle said before laughing. “But whatever, thank you, I’ll wear it all the time.”  He said before the bell started to ring. “I’ll see you tonight, okay Stan! Just text me or something when you get to my house!”  He cried out, grabbing his binder and books for his next class and giving the handsome football player a cute wave before running off, still wearing the jacket.

 

Stan couldn’t help but smile as he watched the object of his affection run off. “I’m totally gonna plow my super best friend’s ass.” He said to himself, his smile turning a bit more devious. He then frowned a bit. “He doesn’t like my Axe? What the Fuck…”

 

~*Later that Night*~

 

Kyle was concerned he still hadn’t heard from Stan, it was nearly midnight. He had been up reading and waiting, having changed into a comfy dark green cashmere sweater and wearing the same black leggings from earlier.  He looked at his phone, sighing when he still saw no text from Stan. Did the football player forget? Did he pass out? He just hoped the brunette hadn’t gotten drunk as hell again and passed out.

 

He was about to get up and get ready for bed when he heard, what sounded like, an acoustic guitar playing? That was weird…  What fucking moron was playing an acoustic guitar outside at midnight!?He sighed and put his book down, making his way towards his window and opening it up.

 

_“All the roads we have to walk are winding. And all the lights that lead us there are blinding. There are many things that I’d like to say to you but I don’t know how….”_

Kyle rubbed his eyes when he saw Stan, down there, playing an acoustic guitar and singing Wonderwall. He was actually a bit surprised. Before he left, Stan was decent at the guitar, but now, he actually sounded pretty good! Not to mention, thanks to his voice finally dropping, his singing was pretty sexy sounding.

 

“Stan!? What the fuck are you doing down there!?” He cried out, looking down at the brunette.

 

_“Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one who saves me. And after all, you’re my wonderwall…”_

 

As Stan was singing, another window opened up. “Shut up! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Ike cried out, moving to throw a shoe at the brunette who let out a cry of shock when it hit him in the face.

 

“Fuck! C’mon Ike! That fucking hurt!” Stan cried out, dropping the guitar on the ground.

 

“Then shut the fuck up! Mom! Stan is outside and he is keeping me from getting my recommended eight to nine hours of sleep in order to rest my brain and let me get a good education!” The Canadian cried out, causing Stan to look like he was panicking.

 

“Kyle! Listen! I want to be more then super best friends with you! Let me take you out to Stark’s Pond! I want just the two of us to be alone, and we can talk about moving our friendship to the next step!” He cried out in a rush, moving quickly to gather his things. “You’re my wonderwall Kyle! You’re my wonderwall! I stopped drinking rubbing alcohol for you!” He added before Sheila came out with the broom.

 

“Stanley Marsh!? What in the world are you doing here this late at night!? You get your tuchus home or I am calling your mother!” The plump woman threatened, swinging the broom at the football player.

 

Kyle was in shock as he watched his mother beat his super best friend over the head with her broom, forcing him back into his car and waiting until he drove away.

 

What had just happened!? He looked at the letterman jacket laying on his bed and bit his lower lip.


	3. Bachelor Number Two: Kenny McCormick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny knows every innocent boy like Kyle secretly wants a bad boy, he hopes to be that bad boy, and move his friendship with the red head into star crossed romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Glad you guys are enjoying! This chapter has K2 in it! Kenny was fun to write, the sexy town bad boy! He is the perfect opposite for Kyle!
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are appreciated! Happy reading!

**Meet Kenny McCormick, Kenny is quite the eligible bachelor at South Park High. Kenny is a classic bad boy type. Kenny has tattoos on his arms and rides a motorcycle. Kenny is highly experienced in sex, having had it with nearly everyone in school. Kenny is STD free. Kenny has a ten inch dick, yeah, that big. Kenny has died several times and come back, seeing both heaven and hell, though no one ever seems to remembered he died. Kenny McCormick, number one choice to corrupt Kyle Broflovski’s heart.**

“It was so weird, Ken, like Stan was outside of my house at midnight, singing that shitty song from Oasis.” Kyle said, looking over at the blond who was busy working on a motorcycle he was trying to get to run. “He gave me his letterman jacket, and, as my mom was beating him with a broom, he said…he wanted to be more then super best friends…” The red head said, looking over at the handsome blond through oversized circular sunglasses.

 

Kyle’s mother hated that he was still friends with Kenny. She always considered him a bad influence, a delinquent from the wrong side of town. Kenny had done drugs, he drank, he fucked, he rode a motorcycle, and he had tattoos. To Sheila, that meant he was not good enough to hang out with her precious, sweet, and innocent son.

 

Kenny laughed a bit as he set his wrench down and looked at the sexy red head who was sitting in the garage with him. Kyle looked fine as hell today, he loved the glasses, but, he really loved leggings and belted tunic look he had decided to go with today. The way the tunics fell off his shoulders, just made him want him even more.

 

“He sang Wonderwall? Holy shit, I always knew Stan was a puss, but, that proves it.” The blond said, before shaking his head.  “Sounds like he has a crush on you Kyle, I mean, can you blame him? You come back looking like this and expect people not to notice?”

 

Kyle looked confused when Kenny said that. “Huh? I…didn’t realize I looked so different from when I left.” He said, pursing his lips a bit.

 

“Kyle, you got hot, okay? Puberty was good to you.” Kenny said, before smirking a little. “Also, are you wearing lipgloss?” He asked, leaning in a little.

 

Kyle blushed. “Y-Yeah… I was at the store and I saw this and thought it was just chapstick, but, I ended up really liking it. It tastes like strawberries.” He said with a laugh. “Also, I’m not hot…”

 

The blond tried to hide a wicked grin at that statement. “I love strawberries, and, it looks good on ya.” He said. God, he wanted to taste those lips. He could just picture it; he could picture the pink tint on his lips…on his cock… Fuck that was hot! He looked around a bit and smiled. He didn’t want to just go all in and tell Kyle they should fuck, that would scare the red head away.

 

“Thanks Ken, you always know how to make me blush.” Kyle said with a laugh, putting a hand to his red cheek.  He moved to tip his sunglasses down a bit, showing off those beautiful emerald eyes of his. “Kenny, did you actually get this thing to run? I swear, you were working on this before I left.”

 

Kenny grinned a bit at that. This was the perfect opportunity to woo Kyle! Everyone knew good boys like the pretty red head secretly wanted a sexy bad boy to take away their innocence, and, he was just the guy to do it.

 

“Yeah, it runs; wanna go for a ride with me? We can just go up to Stark’s Pond if you want? “Kenny suggested. “It’ll be fun, c’mon Kyle, you know you want to ride it.” He said, not mentioning that the red head should also want to ride him and his huge dick.

 

“Oh, I don’t know Ken, is it safe? I don’t want to fly off the back and become road kill.” Kyle pointed out, watching as Kenny put his tools away and grabbed his keys.

 

“Kyle, you know I would never do anything to hurt you. I’ll go slow, and, it’s just up the street. C’mon, you know you wanna.” The blond cooed, causing the red head to sigh.

 

“Okay, okay, just, be careful…” The red head said, letting out a surprised yelp when Kenny easily picked him up and put him on the back of the motorcycle. Once he was securely placed, the taller boy got in front and turned the bike on, revving the engine up a bit.

 

“Okay Kyle, just hold onto my waist, okay?” Kenny instructed. He was hoping the smaller boy would accidently grope his clothed cock when trying to hold onto him. This was such a good idea!

 

“O-Okay!” Kyle cried out, holding onto Kenny tight as the blond backed the bike out and took off towards Stark’s Pond.

 

Kenny had to smile as he felt how tight Kyle was holding onto him. He felt the other boy press his face into his back, probably scared out of his mind that something was going to happen. It was so fucking adorable! He could only imagine how hot the red head would look sprawled on his bike, dressed in some slutty outfit, putting on his lipgloss and begging him to bend him over and fuck him on the bike.

 

“K-Ken! Slow down!” Kyle screamed, holding onto the larger man even tighter as Kenny took the turn that led into the pond.

 

“Calm down, we’re here.” Kenny said, stopping the motorcycle and moving to look back at Kyle. The poor thing was still holding on for dear life, and, had his eyes clenched shut underneath his sunglasses. He smiled and gently took Kyle’s hands, taking them off of his waist and getting off the bike. Once he was off, he took the red head’s hand and helped him down.

 

“Fuck…that…nearly gave me a heart attack…” Kyle said, putting a hand to his chest. “How can you ride that all the time Kenny? Doesn’t that freak you out?”

 

“Nah, but, I like stuff like this. You know, I like finding the thrill in everything.” Kenny said, moving to walk towards a table that was stationed right by the pond. He sat down and looked at Kyle who sat across from him.

 

“You’re fucking nuts.” Kyle said, taking a seat.”But, I’ll admit, it was kinda fun…” He said, before smiling. “How are you doing Ken, we didn’t talk a lot while I was gone. Tell me you…stopped doing that bad shit.” He said, looking concerned.

 

Kenny smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah, I stopped doing the hard stuff, I only smoke weed now, and, occasionally do a line of coke. But, I actually stopped because of you. I knew you were so upset when I started, and, I just couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you.”

 

“Oh Ken, that’s wonderful, and, I’m so happy you would do that for me.” Kyle said, putting a hand to his chest.

 

“Kyle, I’d do anything for you. You always had my back. You always stood up for me, you didn’t care I came from a poor, fucked up family, you didn’t care I slept around or did stupid shit, you were always there. When you left, it really fucked me up… I just tried to find things to get you off my mind, but, I couldn’t, nothing worked.” He confessed.

 

“Kenny…I’m so sorry I left…I didn’t want to…” Kyle said, before feeling his eyes go wide when a hand placed itself on top of his.

 

“Kyle, you really fuck me up, you know. You’re so sweet, and innocent, then, you come back here looking fine as hell, teasing me with that lipgloss and those curls of yours. It’s enough to kill a man.” He admitted, moving to pick up the smaller hand.

 

“Ken? I…I…” Before Kyle could say anything else, a stern voice called out behind him.

 

“Kyle! I thought your mother and I told you we didn’t like you hanging out with Kenny alone!? What are you even doing here; you’re suppose to be doing homework.” Gerald said with a frown as he walked over to the red head. He had been taking a break from work when he saw his son with the McCormick boy.

 

“Dad! What the hell!?” Kyle cried out, frowning as his father motioned for him to get up.

 

“Come on Kyle, I’m driving you home.” Gerald snapped, grabbing his son’s wrist and leading him towards his car.

 

Kenny looked a bit dumbfounded as Kyle’s father appeared out of nowhere and took him away. He was making such good progress! He was even being sensitive! “Fuck!” He cried out. “I was sooooo fucking close to that ass!” He added, grabbing a rock and throwing it into the pond.


	4. Bachelor Number Three: Eric Cartman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric wants to show the years of taunting were from love. He knows that their has always been a sexual tension between them and now he wants to resolve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains Kyman and was probably the hardest to write. Is it even possible to make Eric Cartman charming? Well, I guess we will see!
> 
> Thank you for your kind comments hope you are enjoying the story!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and suggestions are always appreciated!

**Meet Eric Cartman. Eric is quite the eligible bachelor at South Park High? Eric might not have been a good pick in the past, but, he has redeemed himself when he bulked the fuck up! Now he’s ripped and everyone loves him (according to him at least). Eric has mostly stopped his hate campaigns in South Park. Eric donates to charities now! Eric is so smart, no one else can truly compete with him. Eric Cartman, number one rival, and now, number one love choice for Kyle Broflovski!**

Kyle sighed a little as he looked through some clothes at the mall. He needed some time alone; things had been so weird since he had gotten back from Denver. First Stan had serenaded him outside of his window, confessing that he wanted to be more then super best friends, then, Kenny had told him he would do anything for him and his affection. What the hell was happening!? When he left, they didn’t act like this, things were normal, they would just hang out and go to movies and play video games, but now, now he didn’t know what was going on.

 

Sure, he had changed a little in Denver. He became more open with himself; he started dressing how he wanted and was no longer ashamed of how effeminate he was. But, did he really look that different? He didn’t think so.

 

He went through a rack and found a rather cute shirt, smiling a bit; he pulled it out to get a closer look. This would look great on him! But, when he saw the price tag saying the top was $150, he winced. Yeah, it was cute, but not that cute. No way he could afford that… He didn’t even have a part time job.

 

He was so enthralled with what he was doing, he didn’t even realize there was a large presence standing behind him.

 

“Hey Kahl, out shopping?”  Eric asked, causing the small red head to turn around. Eric really had changed the most physically in the years Kyle was away. He was so muscular now, his voice had dropped to be rather deep, and, he was barely recognizable from the fat child he once was.

 

Kyle frowned a bit as he saw Eric was there. He hated to admit that he found Cartman, Cartman of all people somewhat attractive. But, that didn’t matter, he was still the worst person in the world, no way in hell Cartman had changed. “What do you want, Asshole?” He asked, still holding onto the top.

 

Eric just laughed. “Fuck, I was just asking what you were doing. No need to be so defensive.” He said. “You buying that top?” He said, refraining from claiming it looked girly, faggy, stupid, any of his usual insults.

 

“No, it’s way too expensive. You can make your cheap Jew jokes all you want, but, a hundred and fifty dollar top is insane, even if I do like it.” Kyle said, trying to get the Jew jokes out of the way before they could even be hurled at him.

 

Eric, without really saying a word, moved to grab the shirt from the cute red head and walked towards the register.

 

“Cartman, what the fuck are you doing!?” Kyle snapped, chasing after the larger boy.

 

“I’m buying you the fucking top, Kahl, I didn’t get you a welcome home gift, and you said you liked this top.” He said, grabbing his wallet out of his jean pocket.

 

“Why the fuck do you care about getting me a welcome home gift?” Kyle asked, sounding rather suspicious.

 

Eric snorted and turned to face the cute red head. He towered over Kyle, and his muscle mass compared to Kyle’s small curvy frame just made him seem like a giant. “Because Stan got you some faggy bracelet and Kinny is poor as shit and made you a stupid photo album, you didn’t get anything good. I’d be pissed if that was what I got for my coming home gifts. So just shut up and let me buy this for you.”

 

Kyle was flabbergasted as he watched Eric pay for the expensive top with ease. He was also shocked to see the attractive sales girl flirting with him! Someone was flirting with Eric Cartman!

 

“Here you are Sir, you’re boyfriend is so lucky to have you! Wish I had a cute guy buying me expensive stuff.” She said, handing Eric the bag.

 

Kyle was about to scream out that Cartman was not his boyfriend, when Eric just flashed the girl a charming smile.

 

“What can I say; I like to make sure he gets nice things.” Eric said with a wink, moving to hand the bag to the pretty red head. “C’mon Kahl, let’s go get some lunch, huh?” He said, moving to grab the petite Jew’s hand and lead him out of the store.

 

“What the fuck do you think you are doing!?” Kyle snapped, snatching his hand away from Cartman. “Last I checked, you fucking hated me, now, you’re buying me an expensive top and holding my hand!? The hell is going on!?” He demanded, waiting for Eric to freak out on him and start lashing out.

 

Instead of insulting him like he use to do, Cartman just looked down at the brunette. “Kahl, I’m taking you out to lunch, I want to actually talk to you without your bodyguard Stanley, and, the town slut, Kinny.” He said, looking down at the brunette. “C’mon, I’ll get you whatever you want.” He said, smiling in success when Kyle just groaned and agreed to go with him.

 

“Fine, I’ll go to lunch with you, but, I want Greek food, and, I don’t want to hear any remarks about the Greek people.” Kyle said, his eyes narrowing a bit as it was obvious he was extremely suspicious.

 

“Fine, we’ll get your ethnic food. You always have to be so adventurous about everything.” Eric said, rolling his eyes, moving to grab the red head’s hand and leading him towards the foot court. “But, if that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.” He said.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Kyle was rather confused as he ate Greek food with Cartman, the larger man had been rather enjoyable. He hadn’t referred to Kyle as a dirty Jew, a ginger, a bitch, anything. He had even kept his word and bought his lunch, which, had been more expensive then Eric’s since he had just gotten a salad. It was like he was living in the Twilight Zone…

 

“You know, things were fucked up thanks to you leaving, Kahl. I don’t know why your bitch of a mother decided to make you go to that shitty boarding school, but, it really inconvenienced me.”  Eric said out of the blue as Kyle was sipping his soda.

 

The red head raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Why? I thought you hated me. I thought you would be over the moon that I was gone.” He said simply.

 

Eric sighed, moving to put his salad fork down and look at his long term frenemy. “Listen Kahl, you are one of the very few people I can actually stand in this fucking down. You made that bitch Wendy shut the fuck up and push her off her pedestal. You kept class interesting; you were actually someone I could have a damn conversation with.” He said, rubbing the back of his head and looking away from the smaller teen.

 

“W-Wait… Cartman, are you saying you missed me?” Kyle asked, looking more confused than he ever had.

 

“Yeah, I’m fucking saying that Kahl, I missed you. It was like losing another half of me.  You were the one who always kept me in check, and, when you left, I had to do it myself. I grew the fuck up, I lost all my weight, I threw away my Nazi shit, I stopped shitting on people for being different than me. I changed all this shit about myself, and, you weren’t even here to see it. “

 

This made Kyle’s green eyes go wide. “Y-You…did all of that? You…did that…for me?” He said, putting a hand his chest.

 

“Yes, that’s what I said. Can’t you see it, Kahl? Haven’t you ever heard that boys pick on people because they like them? That was what I was doing for years! You were always paying attention to fucking Stan and Kinny, and the only way I could ever get your attention was dressing up as a Nazi, or, selling vape pens to kindergarteners, or, attempted genocide of gingers.” Eric confessed.

 

“Cartman…” Kyle said, before finding himself being silenced by a finger pressed against his lips.

 

“Call me Eric, Kahl. I’m not Cartman anymore, I’ve changed, for the most part, and, I did it for you.” He said. “You came back looking so good, you looked good before you left though, you’ve always been pretty. I just said all those shitty things to you…to cover up how I felt…and that I felt shitty about me…” He said, before clearing his throat.

 

Kyle swallowed hard; he could feel his body practically shaking. What was happening? First Stan, then Kenny, and now Eric Fucking Cartman!?

 

“Cartman…I mean…Eric….thanks for lunch…and the top… I appreciate it…but I need to go home…” He said, standing up and making his way out of the food court. He needed to think about all of this.

 

What the fuck was going on?


	5. The Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle is completely freaked out by what had just happened with Stan, Kenny, and Cartman. In order to get some insight he decides to go to some experts, by that he means the trio's ex-girlfriends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now that we have the first contacts out of the way, Kyle has some decisions to make, doesn't he? Sorry if this chapter is a little boring, it's him getting advice from the girls and seeing what they think. Like I mentioned earlier in the fic, the girls will actually be helpful and not bitches haha.
> 
> Who do you want to see end up with Kyle? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and suggestions are always appreciated!

**Meet Wendy Testaburger. Wendy is Stan’s ex-girlfriend and one of the smartest girls in school. She has always prided herself in being fair, intelligent, and someone to share with. Though she and Kyle haven’t always been on the best terms, they have actually managed to for a friendship ever since she broke it off with Stan for good. Wendy thinks Stan and Kyle need to get together. Super Best Friends is just a super gay way of saying boyfriends.**

**Meet Bebe Stevens. Bebe is Kenny’s ex-girlfriend and one of the most popular girls in school. She has always been the girl guys want to get with, well, at least the straight ones, which, seem to be a dwindling population at South Park High… Bebe is an expert in clothes, boys, and making boys do what you want. Bebe has always been on good terms with Kyle, having use to cheat off of him in class. Bebe thinks Kyle needs to get with Kenny. Nothing is more adorable then the bad boy and the goodie two shoes getting together.**

**Meet Heidi Turner. Heidi is Eric’s ex-girlfriend and one of the nicest girls in school. She has always been someone easy to talk to, and, believes people are good, even when they appear to be horrible…horrible…HORRIBLE people. Heidi knows Kyle had a crush on her before he realized he was gay, and, thinks it was sweet. Heidi thinks Kyle needs to get with Eric. Eric always seemed strangely obsessed with him and maybe some of Kyle’s goodness could rub off on him.**

“I really appreciate you agreeing to meet with me.” Kyle said, moving to take a seat next to Wendy at a table they had acquired at Tweek Coffee. “I’ve had an interesting few days since I have come back to South Park, and, I need help…” He admitted, looking down at his lap.

 

Wendy looked concerned. She and Kyle had actually become quite good friends since she dumped Stan once and for all. “What’s wrong Kyle? At your welcome home party you seemed so excited to finally be home. I thought you hated the boarding school in Denver?” She said, before Kyle cleared his throat.

 

“No…it has nothing to do with that, I am happy to be home, it’s just….” The red head trailed off before looking at the three girls. “Things have been so weird with Stan, Kenny, and Cartman since I came back. It all started after my welcome home party.” He said, trying to figure out how best to explain this.

 

“Weird how?” Bebe decided to ask, leaning in and resting her elbows on the table. “Like, they are being douchebags to you or something?” She asked.

 

“No! Not that, it’s just….Stan was the first to do something strange. He gave me his letterman jacket and then showed up at my house at midnight and attempted to serenade me. Then, the next day, I go to talk to Kenny about what happened, and, he takes me on his motorcycle to Stark’s Pond and tells me how he’d do anything for me. Then, the absolute weirdest fucking thing is Eric Fucking Cartman. He shows up when I’m shopping, buys me an expensive ass shirt, and tells me he wants to be a better man for me. Like…what the fuck!?”

 

The girls all looked at each other and then just started to laugh. This of course caused the red head to look annoyed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not fucking funny, it’s a real problem!”

 

Heidi decided to speak up after she dried the tears from her eyes. “Oh Kyle, don’t you see, it’s so obvious! It has been for so long!” She said, moving to gently grab her friend’s hand. “They are in love with you.” She said with a smile.

 

At that moment it was like a complicated equation coming together in his head. They…were in love with him? They were in love with short, red headed, overly righteous, know it all, him?! His emerald eyes went wide at the thought, and suddenly, memories from the fourth grade all the way up to him coming back from Denver flooded his head.  How…how was this fucking possible!? How had he never seen this before!? He considered himself to be quite intelligent, and, this had flown completely over his fucking head!

 

“Holy shit….” Kyle said, moving to smash his head onto the table, causing the girls to all pick up their coffees before they could spill from the thud.

 

Wendy smiled a bit and moved to pat Kyle on the back. “C’mon Kyle, I mean, just think about it. Stan has liked you since forever.” She said, causing the red head to lift his head up.

 

“But…he dated you on and off since forever!” Kyle cried out.

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make Stan any less of a fucking closet case. Kyle, first off, no straight man comes up with the term Super Best Friend in the fourth grade and continues to use it. Not to mention, when we were together, everything was always about you. He had to go see you, had to go hang out with you, had to make sure you were okay.” She said, giving him a smile to show him she wasn’t mad about it. “Last piece of evidence I have is when you dated David Rodriguez right before you left, he was so fucking mad he kept trying to find excuses to beat the shit out of him and drive him off.” Wendy said, giving a small shrug. “That and one time when we had sex he called your name out instead of mine.”

 

“Oh my god….” Kyle said, his face going completely red. “Is that why my underwear always went missing when I spent the night at Stan’s house?”

 

Bebe smiled a bit as she put her coffee down. “Same thing goes with Ken, though, I guess he is a bit more open with his sexuality then Mister Star Quarterback.” The blond mused. “When we were together, he would always comment on how nice your ass looked, and how you were really filling out those jeans you were wearing. He use to purposely flunk math just so you would tutor him.” She said, before her smirk grew. “Well, that and one time I caught him jerking off your yearbook picture… And the one time he kept insisting we ask to see if you wanted to be in a three way…”

 

“Kenny! That fucking pervert! That was why he was asking for all those pictures of me! He said he was getting into scrapbooking!” Kyle cried out, causing the girls to sigh.

 

“How naïve can you get, Kyle? Why the fuck would Kenny even want to scrapbook?” Bebe asked, shaking her head. “For someone so smart, you sure can be fucking stupid.” She added, before looking at Heidi.

 

Before Heidi even had a chance to speak, Kyle stopped her.

 

“Please…please Heidi….please don’t tell me Cartman ever showed signs of being in love with me… I just don’t think I can mentally take that.” The red head begged.

 

Heidi looked a bit sheepish and gave him a small smile. “Sorry Kyle, but, Eric totally has a thing for you.” She said, hearing Kyle let out a loud groan of pain. “Every stupid scheme, every fucked up thing he did, every time he argued with you, it was just to get your attention. That time you decided to just ignore him instead of fighting back, he nearly went insane. He kept thinking of crazier and crazier things to get you to notice him. In fact, he started losing weight and bulking up when you started going out with David. I think I recall him saying that he wasn’t about to let his Jew go out with some…well…racial slur I rather not say.” Heidi said with a smile.

 

“You’re saying that fucking psycho did all that terrible shit just so I would notice him!? I don’t even know how to feel about that! I could have just prevented all that crap if I just paid more attention to him!?” Kyle cried out.

 

“Calm down Kyle, it’s simple, you just have to pick one of them, and the rest will back off. Surely you have feelings for one of them.” Heidi said.

 

“I…I don’t know…” The red head stammered. “I mean…they’re like my best friends…I love them all…even fucking fatass… But, dating one of them? I don’t even know who to choose…” Kyle admitted.

 

“Well Kyle, the choice is obvious; you should go out with Stan.” Wendy said simply. “You guys are best friends, he is attached to your hip, he’s handsome, he can be sensitive, and, he even stopped drinking rubbing alcohol! Plus, you would be the quarterback’s boyfriend, there are some serious benefits to that Kyle, I won’t lie.” The brunette said with a smile. “You guys would be the cutest couple, I mean; you already looked so adorable walking around in his letterman jacket.”

 

Bebe snorted. “Stan? Yeah, everyone totally wants to date the local alcoholic closet case. No, Kyle, you need to go out with Kenny! Kenny will fuck your brains out, he knows every move possible. He’s got those sexy tattoos and rides a motorcycle; you’d be going out with the bad boy of South Park! Besides, you’re the perfect priss of our school, it is like meant to be! The bad boy and the goodie two shoes falling in love, even though society doesn’t want you to be together!”

 

It was Heidi’s time to roll her eyes. “Please, Kyle doesn’t want to go out with a grungy drug addict! Kyle, believe it or not, you want to go out with Eric. I know it sounds crazy, but, he can be really sweet, and, he’ll buy you whatever you want, he bought you that expensive shirt already! Not to mention, he’s bulked up! He’s way buffer then Stan! You can help Eric continue down the path of being a better person! You could be the one who changes him!”

 

“Heidi, no one wants to go out with Eric Cartman but you, and I’m still trying to figure out what psychosis you were even in to think that was a good idea.” Wendy snapped.

 

Kyle sighed; having a feeling this wasn’t going to get resolved. Now the three girls were all fighting over who he should go out with. He stood up and flashed them a smile. “Listen, I’ll be right back, gonna grab another coffee, you…continue to talk amongst yourselves…” He said, getting up and practically running over to the counter.

 

Tweak Tweek was behind the counter, and, he had heard the entire conversation. He looked at the red head as he ran up to him. “How’s it goin’ Kyle?” He asked, trying to keep himself from stuttering.

 

“Not good Tweak, not fucking good.” Kyle said, moving to playing with a red curl as he tried to just wrap his head around what was going on.

 

“L-Listen Kyle…I couldn’t help but overhear your problem and…I think maybe I have an idea that might help ya.” The blond said.

 

“Really? What? What is it Tweak!? I just need some fucking advice!” Kyle cried out, grabbing Tweak by the shoulders and shaking him.

 

“P-Please…STOP!” Tweak cried out, managing to get the red head off of him. “All you need to do is go on a date with each of them…and see…who is the best!”

 

That stopped Kyle in his tracks. It was a simple suggestion, but, it could work. Perhaps if he just gathered them all together and informed them he would take each on a trial date that might help him decide. He had a feeling if he didn’t decide soon, the trio would end up killing each other for his affection, and, he could not have that on his conscious.


	6. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle makes a deal with Stan, Kenny, and Cartman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy you are enjoying the rp! Its been very fun to write, just something cracky and fun, with all four boys!
> 
> The next few chapters will focus on the dates, and after that, well, we will just see what happens!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and suggestions are always appreciated!

**Meet Kyle Broflovski. Kyle has never thought much of himself. Kyle always considered himself an unattractive nerd. But, things changed when he came back from Denver and his three best friends started hitting on him. Kyle doesn’t know what to do, Kyle probably should have seen this all coming. This is probably all Kyle’s fault and now he has to deal with the consequences. Kyle Broflovski, in a fucked up situation.**

 

Stan, Kenny, and Cartman all looked confused as to what they were doing in Kyle’s basement. The red head had reached out to each of them with some kind of weird, cryptic text, asking them to meet him at his house before his parents got home from work. When they arrived, they had been ushered down to the basement and Kyle saying he had to get a few things and to give him a moment.

 

“So, what do you think is gonna happen? I have two theories here. Either Kyle is gonna come down here in some sexy lingerie and let us all fuck him, or, he’s gonna murder us.”  Kenny theorized, looking over at Stan and Eric who didn’t look so impressed with his thoughts.

 

“No way in hell is Kyle going to come down here, dressed in some skanky lingerie, and telling us we all get a turn with him. You know Kyle is too much of a prude for that.” Stan pointed out.

 

Cartman was the next to snort. “The Jew doesn’t have the balls to kill anyone, he can barely stand to kill a bug, I think we are at least safe from being murdered."

 

Kenny shrugged. “Well fine, shit all over my theory.  I don’t see either of you assholes trying to figure out why we are down here.” He said, before hearing the basement door open up.

 

“What up, Pervs.” Kyle said simply, looking rather stoic as he came down the basement steps with a notebook tucked under his arms. He was wearing a rather cute outfit, almost as he was teasing the trio. It was almost like the red head knew the other teens liked seeing him wear leggings, so, he was wearing a pair again. It didn’t help he had paired it with an oversized coral sweatshirt that was falling off his shoulders.

 

“What’s going on Kyle? Why did you ask us all down here?” Stan decided to ask, watching as the red head slapped his notebook down on the table that Gerald kept down there for card games.

 

“Yeah, what is going on, Kahl? You know, I am a busy man, I have things to do.” Cartman pointed out.

 

“Yeah, you have so much important shit to do; you are in such high demand.” Kenny said sarcastically, rolling his eyes before looking at Kyle.

 

“Babe, why are we all here?” The blond asked, causing Kyle to give the trio an unamused expression.

 

“Oh, I think you know exactly why you are all here. Ever since I got back from Denver, you three have been trying to get in my pants!” He snapped, watching as the trio’s eyes went wide. They probably thought he didn’t realize, well, he didn’t until yesterday, but now he knew, and they weren’t getting away with this! “None of you even try to deny it, I have Stan and his guitar playing at midnight, then I have Kenny getting me on the back of his death machine, and then, I have fucking Cartman buying me this expensive sweater!” He said, pointing to what he was wearing.

 

“Now Kyle, just…calm down…” Stan said, before being silenced by the petite red head.

 

“No, I’m not going to calm down. I want you three to tell me the truth, do you all want to suddenly fuck me because I came back looking like this?” Kyle asked, sounding a bit hurt by that. “Before I left, none of you seemed to show interest in that.”

 

This caused Kenny to stand up. “What the fuck are you talking about!? We found you hot as hell before you even left for Denver.” He snapped.

 

“Yeah Kahl, it’s pretty obvious. None of us could make a move because you were going out with a fucking Mexican!” Cartman exclaimed. “Just when it was time that any of us could date you and it could mean something, you turn around and go out with that….David!” He said, refraining on using a racial slur.

 

Stan crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the red head. “Dude, I’ve wanted to date you since the fucking fourth grade. I was just fucking ten years old and didn’t even know how to wrap my head around liking a guy, not to mention, my best friend.” The football player stated simply. “So no, this isn’t new, believe it or not. I think we were all just in shock that you somehow came back from Denver even hotter.”

 

Now this had really taken Kyle back. So, did everyone know except him!? If yesterday with the girls was insightful, this was downright shocking.

 

“So…you guys have always had…a thing for me? It was just…age…or….understanding your own sexuality…or…David that kept you from doing anything?” The red head asked, biting his lower lip as he felt like he was a sheep in a den of wolves now.  “Well…this is…awkward…”Kyle said, pursing his lips a bit. He was intending for this to be a big set up to expose the trio, but, it had really been flipped on him. So, they had all felt this way for so long?

 

Kenny cleared his throat. “So, now we all know all three of us decided to make a move at the same time, so, Kyle, who is it gonna be?” He asked, before a smirk crossed his lips. “I mean, obviously you want to go out with me. You know we have such a good chemistry. I can give you what you need; I can add danger and thrill to your life, Baby.” He said with a wink. “The motorcycle ride was just the beginning of what I can give you.” He added, moving to take Kyle’s hand and press a tender kiss to the back of it.

 

“Fuck off, Kenny; if Kyle is going to go out with anyone, it’s me.” Stan said, using his muscles to shove the blond away from his super best friend. He moved to grab Kyle’s hand and smiled. “Kyle, we’ve been best friends since Kindergarten, you know that I’ve always been there for you, I always will. I’m sorry it took me so long to just come out and say it, but, now I can make things right. You have my letterman jacket, and, you have always had my heart.” He said earnestly, causing Cartman to gag.

 

“Wow, what a faggy ass thing to say Stanley, get out of here and let a real man woo the Jew!”  Cartman growled, nearly picking Stan up and throwing him across the room so he could get to Kyle. “Listen Kahl, I know we have had our differences, but, everything I did, I just did for your attention. I just wanted you to notice me, and, now that you have, I can show you that I’m a changed man, that I changed for you. That I can be the man you want, that you need, Kahl.” He said, before both Kenny and Stan rushed him, knocking Eric to the floor.

 

Before Kyle even knew it, the trio was in a fist fight, fighting over who got the honor to go out with him. He was stunned, but, as soon as he was able to snap out of it, he took off one of his shoes and threw it the teens.

 

“Hey! Knock it the fuck off! No one is going to get with me if you all just kill each other!” Kyle snapped, letting out a sigh as he made his way over to the other teens. “Listen, we can figure this all out… I…honestly don’t know who I would pick out of you three, but, I’m willing to give you all a shot.” He explained, moving to hold up the notebook he had brought down earlier. “Each of you can take me out on a date, and, after I’ve been with all three of you, I can decide.”

 

“So, this is some kind of contest? Well, good! I will fucking beat these fools into the ground with the awesome date I’m going to take you on Kahl, you just watch!” Cartman cried out, getting glares from Stan and Kenny.

 

“Sure you will, just because you lost some fucking weight finally doesn’t mean you still aren’t a psycho, you’ll fuck it up. I have the best chance.” Stan said with a confident smirk.

 

“Sure you do Stan, you’ll have a great chance if you don’t get blackout drunk and miss your date.” Kenny spat out.

 

“Hey! Cut it out you guys! I told you, you will all get a chance! So, I want you each to sign these contracts I drew up. They simply state that you will automatically be taken out of the running if you do anything to sabotage someone else’s date. As you can see, everything is properly notarized, so, it’s legal.” Kyle said simply, holding up a pen. “So, sign, then, I will schedule your date with me.”

 

“That is the most Jew-like thing you have ever done, Kahl.” Cartman said, before watching as Stan quickly signed.

 

“Well, that may be so, but, you don’t have to sign the contract Cartman, just means you lose your chance.” Kyle said simply as Kenny was signing his contract.

 

“Fine! I’ll sign your fucking contract, but, just to show you I’m better then these fuckers.” Cartman said, taking the pen and signing.

 

“Thank you; I’ll put these with my files. Now, as for dates, Stan, you can go first, then Kenny, and then you, Cartman.” The red head said. “You can’t ask anyone for advice, and, you have to plan the entire evening out by yourself.” Kyle stated, putting the contracts in a manila folder. “So…good luck…”

 

As Kyle made his way out of the basement, the trio just stared. What the fuck had just happened!?


	7. The First Date: Stan Marsh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Kyle and Stan's date. Will the Super Best Friends take it to the next level?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has Style (obviously), it actually turned out a lot sweeter then I had originally planned haha. Well I hope you enjoy, next chapter will be Kenny and Kyle's date. 
> 
> Also, don't worry, Kenny and Cartman still have chances
> 
> The song Stan sings at the end is All My Loving by the Beatles
> 
> Kudos, comments, and suggestions are always highly appreciated!

Tonight he was going out, going out on a date, a date with his Super Best Friend, Stan Marsh. Honestly, the whole thing sounded kind of bizarre, but, he knew he had secretly always wanted this. Stan was so handsome, the stereotypical hunky football player. He always carried himself in such a confident manner, he liked to show off his athletic and muscular body, and, he always looked so damn good wearing his letterman jacket! Now, if only Stan would stop bathing himself in Axe, he’d be perfect.

 

Kyle sighed as he finished getting ready. Stan had expressed how much he liked him in leggings, so, he wore a dark blue pair paired with a cream colored tunic belted with a thick brown belt and matching brown boots. He managed to put on a coat of that strawberry lipgloss he had bought by accident.

 

When he was all done getting ready, he moved to look in the floor length mirror that was hanging on his wall. Honestly, he still had no idea why Stan, Kenny, and Cartman all thought he was hot. What he saw looking back at the mirror at him wasn’t someone he would call hot.

 

He was rather nervous about this date, he really hadn’t gone on a date since he and David had been together. When he was away at that private school, he had gotten some offers, but, he really didn’t want to go out with any of those guys. They thought they could get whatever they wanted because they had money.

 

“Hi Stan, thanks for taking me out tonight.” Kyle said to himself, trying to practice in front of the mirror before his date showed up. “Thanks…I’m glad you like my outfit…” He added, putting a hand to his chest. “I hope this won’t be awkward…” He added, before hearing the sound of a Prius blasting the Gin Blossoms pulling up to his house.

 

“Fuck! Okay Kyle, it’s just Stan…this isn’t going to be weird…just…breathe and be calm.” The red head said to himself. He started to make his way down the stairs, thanking all that was holy that his family was out at one of his mom’s fundraisers tonight.

 

He had been out with Stan many times before, maybe not on dates, but, they had hung out all the time alone! It wasn’t going to be weird; Stan wasn’t going to be weird! When the doorbell rang, he nervously grabbed one of his red loose curls and twisted around his finger. After a few moments he opened the door and saw Stan.

 

Stan looked handsome as ever, wearing those worn Lucky jeans he liked so much and Rolling Stones t-shirt that showed off his muscular arms from football. He had his baseball hat turned backwards on his head, causing some of his short black locks to stick to his forehead. He was holding some flowers in one hand.

 

“Hey Kyle.” Stan said with a smile, handing the pretty red head the flowers. “You look cute.” He said, smiling as he gently took his date’s hand. “Thanks for coming out with me tonight, I promise, you won’t regret giving me this chance. After our date you won’t even want to go out with Kenny and Cartman.” He said in a confident tone.

 

“Thanks, these are so pretty Stan.” Kyle said, putting the flowers aside and allowing the brunette to take his hand and lead him out to his car. “So, what do you have planned for tonight?” He asked, smiling as Stan opened up the passenger door for him.

 

“Well, I figured we could go see that new horror movie we wanted to see, ‘Quiet Night, Bloody Night’. It’s suppose to be super gory, and super stupid. It’s like our shitty movie nights but, you know, but more…intimate…” He said, before clearing his throat. “Then after that, I figured we would go to the pond like old times.”  Stan smiled, the idea was perfect. Kyle liked horror movies, but, he got super scared during them and always grabbed the thing closet to him, at the movies, that would be Stan. Though it was probably the most clichéd idea ever, it was worth trying in order to get some kind of physical contact. At Stark’s Pond, he could show off his ‘sensitive’ side and use the nostalgia they always had with the pond.

 

Kyle smiled as he buckled up. “Sounds good to me, just promise me, no Wonderwall.” He said a smirk crossing over his lips. “Did my mom leave any bruises behind when she beat you with her broom?”

 

Stan pursed his lips a bit and looked at Kyle with a dry expression. “You love Wonderwall, don’t deny that performance of mine didn’t make you all hot and bothered.” He said, before sighing. “And, yes, I do have bruises, your mom can fucking swing that broom! I’m lucky she didn’t injure my ball throwing arm.”

 

The red head couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, you made me so hot singing that shitty song.” Kyle teased, before a more genuine smile crossed his glossy lips. “Well, you do have a very sexy voice Stan, and, your guitar playing was nice. Maybe if Ike hadn’t been woken up by you and called for my mom, you could have sung me another song.” He said, looking at his Super Best Friend as he played with his hair.

 

“Well, maybe I can sing to you tonight.”The brunette said with a small smile. “Or, we can sing together, like when we use to play Rockband together.” He said smiling as red head nodded his head.

 

“That sounds fun, I’m down. I missed hanging out with you so much when I was gone. I could never find someone to hang out with that made me as happy as you make me, Stan.” Kyle admitted.

 

Stan smiled a bit as he parked the Prius at the movie theater. “Well, that is why we are Super Best Friends Kyle, and hopefully, we can be more than that. You being gone made me realize more than ever that I saw you more as just a Super Best Friend. Tonight, I want to prove that to you.” He said, watching as Kyle pulled on his letterman jacket to keep warm.

 

“I’m willing to give you all a shot.” Kyle said, deciding to let the quarterback wrap an arm around his shoulders and lead him to the ticket counter. It did feel nice to be with Stan like this, to have him holding him, to be wearing his jacket, it just felt so comforting and warm.

 

“I also appreciate you easing up on the Axe.” The red head added, watching as Stan pulled his wallet out from his pocket, his arm still slung around him.

 

“No one ever complained before, but, if you don’t like it, I’ll ease up. I forgot you had such a delicate nose.” Stan teased, grabbing some cash.

 

“Hey, I can pay for my ticket.” Kyle offered.

 

“Ky, this is a date, I asked you, I’m paying for everything.” The brunette stated simply, exchanging the cash for tickets.

 

Kyle decided not to argue when Stan paid and started leading him to the concession stand.

~*~*~~

 

It had been a mistake for Stan to buy Kyle a huge thing of popcorn, because, every time a jump scene happened, the red head would let out a rather adorable scream, jump up a bit, and spill popcorn over Stan. Honestly, it didn’t bother the brunette; he had gotten what he wanted, Kyle holding onto him and burying his face in the crook of his neck during the scary gory parts. He had wrapped an arm around the smaller teen and held him close.

 

“Jesus! This is fucking scary! I won’t be able to sleep tonight!” The red head said, keeping his eyes closed and happy Stan was holding him. “The poster made it look so stupid! It’s not stupid…it’s fucking freaking me the fuck out…”

 

“Did you want to leave?” Stan asked, before watching as Kyle managed to pull his head up and look at him.

 

“Fuck no! It’s good!” The red head said, looking back at the screen just in time for another jump scare. He let out a scream and managed to dump the rest of the popcorn on his date. “Sorry…” He said, smiling as Stan just laughed.

 

“It’s okay, I’m just glad I didn’t buy you a fucking soda.” The brunette said, moving to brush the popcorn off of him. He smiled when he noticed their fingers had intertwined and they were holding hands, looking at each other, ignoring the movie.

 

It was safe to say, neither of them were going to bother watching the rest of the horror movie, or, even remember it.

 

~*~*~

 

“Why can you skip rocks so well and I can’t? What’s your secret, Stan?” Kyle asked, trying to skip a rock and then just watching as it sunk to the bottom.

 

“It’s easy, here, I’ll help you.” Stan said, moving to stand behind Kyle. He wrapped an arm around the red head’s waist, and with his other arm moved to guide the smaller teen to hold the rock. “You just gotta fling it.” He said, smiling as Kyle’s back was pressed against his front. The red head just fit so perfectly against him. “Just let me guide you, okay?” He asked, moving to fling his and Kyle’s arm, watching as the flat stone flew out of the red head’s hand and skipped across the pond.

 

“Hey! Look at that!” Kyle said with a bright smile. “Fucking finally! Thanks Stan, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.” He said, managing to untangle himself from the footballer and turn around to look at him. “But of course you know how to do it, Stan Marsh, Mister Perfect, South Park’s golden boy.” He teased.

 

“Hey, I’m nowhere near perfect.” The brunette said, moving to take a seat at a picnic table looking out at the pond.

 

“What are you talking about? You totally are. I’ve always been so jealous of you Stan. You’re confident, you’re athletic, and you’re popular…” Kyle said before getting cut off by his date.

 

“I’m a drunk, I’ve got depression, and I’m in love with my best friend…” Stan said, looking at his Super Best Friend. He watched as Kyle’s gorgeous emerald green eyes went wide at his declaration.

 

“S-Stan… “The red head said, putting a hand over his mouth, trying to contain his shocked gasp. “But…Wendy…and all the other girls…”

 

“They never meant anything, Kyle. I thought they did, I thought Wendy did, but, in the end, it was you, it was always you… Ever since we were kids, I just always felt happiest when I was with you. My heart always beat faster when we were together, and, when you went out with David, my heart fucking broke. Every time I saw you kiss him, every time he made you laugh, every date you went on with him, it tore me up inside because I wanted so fucking bad to be in his position, I just…couldn’t fucking admit it…” Stan said, moving to grab Kyle’s smaller hand in his.

 

“Stan…I…never knew… I…don’t know what to say…” Kyle said, before noticing they had gotten rather close together.

 

“Say you’ll let me kiss you.” Stan said.

 

Kyle felt his breath hitch in his throat and nodded his head. “Y-Yeah…” He managed to say. He closed his eyes and before he knew it, he felt warm lips on his. He felt a tongue poking at his lips, so, he opened his mouth, allowing Stan to slip his tongue in there. God, the brunette tasted like popcorn and smelled like cologne instead of that nauseating body spray he usually used. Getting more comfortable with the situation, he managed to wrap his arms around the brunette’s shoulders.

 

It would be moments more before they finally broke apart.

 

“So…how did that feel?” Stan asked, sounding a bit breathless. He smiled when he saw Kyle’s cheeks were red.

 

“It felt really good…” Kyle admitted. “Felt like…something I’d like to do again.”

 

Stan smiled. “I’d love to do that again. Kyle, promise me this won’t be our only kiss. I know you have to go on dates with Kenny and Cartman, but, promise me, I’ll at least be able to kiss you again.”

 

“Yeah, I can promise that Stan, if, you will maybe sing me another song? A song that isn’t fucking Wonderwall.”  The red head said, resting a small hand on Stan’s larger one.

 

“I think I can manage that.” Stan said, before grabbing the red head’s hands. “Just wished I had my guitar so I could do this right.”

 

“The guitar doesn’t matter…” Kyle said. “Just sing me something.”

 

_“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Tomorrow I’ll miss you. Remember I’ll always be true. And then while I’m away I’ll write home everyday, and I’ll send all my loving to you.”_


	8. The Second Date: Kenny McCormick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Kyle and Kenny's date. Can the bad boy and the goody two shoes really work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains K2 (obviously) 
> 
> I did write Kyle rather femininely, I hope that isn't too out of character for you all!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and suggestions are always highly appreciated!

Kyle was still rather happy with how well his date with Stan had gone. After they had finished making out at the pond, Stan had brought him home and told him he hoped he would choose him. It was really tempting to just give in and tell Kenny and Cartman to fuck off, but, that wasn’t really fair, and, he was still looking forward to those dates as well.

 

Tonight he was going out with Kenny McCormick, the tattooed, motorcycle riding, delinquent . This was one he really had to make sure his parents didn’t find out about. They had made it quite clear that they hated Kenny and thought he was nothing but a derelict. If either of them found out, he didn’t want to know what would happen.

 

“Bubbelah, are you sure you don’t want to come out with us to see your cousin Kyle? You know how much he likes seeing you!” Sheila said, making her way into Kyle’s room with Gerald behind her.

 

“I’m sorry Mom; I’m just not feeling very well.” The red head said, pretending to cough. “I think it would be best to stay in for the night. I’ll be fine, and don’t worry; Misses Marsh said she would come look in on me while you’re up in North Park for the day.”

 

Gerald smiled as he put a hand on his wife. “He’s seventeen Sheila, and, he’s never gotten into trouble, besides, we got to get on the road if we want to get to North Park before dark.” He said.

 

“Okay, okay! Kyle, you stay in bed and rest! If you need anything at all call me immediately! We love you Bubbe!” Sheila said, leaving the house with her husband and Ike.

 

“Love you too! Bye!” Kyle said, waiting until he saw his father’s car drive off before getting out of bed. Now that they were gone he could finally start getting ready for his date with Kenny.

 

He went to his closet and pulled out a few possible outfits. It seemed Kenny really liked when he dressed in a more feminine manner, a feminine goody two shoes manner. He had a feeling the blond got off on the whole cute and sweet thing, and, he had to admit, he got off on the bad boy idea. While Stan was South Park’s golden boy, Kenny was South Park’s bad boy, and, that was something every girl, and some guys, at South Park High wanted.

 

Deciding to give Kenny what he wanted, he put on a pair of white skinny jeans that showed off his ass, which, for some reason, everyone loved, and an oversized light pink sweater. His red loose curls were looking bouncy, his lips glossy, he was ready for his date, well, mostly, the butterflies in his stomach were not making it easy. It was like his date with Stan all over again!

 

“It’s just Kenny! You’ve known him since Kindergarten… He…helped you that one time you fell off your bike…and…he…always took your side when you and Stan got in a fight! He’s just…Kenny…” Kyle said while looking in the mirror. “Besides, Kenny’s always been good to you…” He said, biting his lower lip as he heard the revving of a motorcycle outside of his house.

 

“Shit! He’s here!” The red head cried out to himself, quickly making his way downstairs. He slipped on his shoes just in time to answer the door when the doorbell rang.

 

“Hey.”Kyle said softly, smiling when he saw the handsome blond standing in front of him. He had to admit Kenny looked hot as hell! The way he was standing there, a cigarette in his mouth, wearing those black jeans with the holes in the knees, and a white t-shirt that showed off the tattoos on his arms.

 

Kenny smiled as he moved to take the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out, before looking the red head up and down. Damn did Kyle look good! Did he know how much he liked his bubble butt? That little pink sweater made him look like a doll, and, it was almost too damn much! “Hey yourself Cutie, you ready to go?”

 

“Yeah, I am, just make sure not to kill me on that thing.” Kyle said, smiling when Kenny offered his hand to him. He took it, and allowed the taller teen to walk him over to the motorcycle that was waiting.

 

“I ain’t gonna hurt you, you’re precious cargo.” The blond said with a wink. “Mind if I help you up?” He asked, positioning himself to pick up the red head. “Don’t want you falling try to get on.” He added with a smile.

 

“Okay, but, I know that if I feel a hand on my ass it wasn’t just an accident.” Kyle said.

 

“Oh, c’mon, you know I’m nothing but a gentleman, Kyle. I’ll only feel you up when you beg me too.” Kenny said with a smirk, moving to pick up the red head with ease and put him on the back of the motorcycle. “See, I kept my hands all to myself like a good boy, even though you’re tempting me in those tight little jeans of yours.”

 

“I don’t understand your obsession with my ass.” Kyle said, holding onto the blond as he got in front of him. “And, you didn’t even tell me where we are going.” He said.

 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about where we are going, just enjoy the ride. Also, your ass is fucking amazing! You can’t wiggle those hips all around town and show off that sexy ass and not expect people to drool all over you.” Kenny pointed out with a smirk, starting up the motorcycle.

 

“Just because my ass is…big…doesn’t mean I’m asking for people to stare at me!” Kyle cried out, holding onto Kenny for dear life. “A-Also! I still hate this…fucking motorcycle!” He screamed, feeling the wind pick up his sweater and lift it up, exposing his stomach as they drove.

 

“Don’t worry, I told you I would keep you safe, Baby!”  Kenny cried back, taking a left and making his way past the pond and towards the hills that lay behind it. He had something special planned for Kyle. Unlike Stan and Cartman who had money to blow, he didn’t really have as much, so, in order to woo the cute red head, he had to come up with something more from the heart.  

 

“Kenny, you are not taking the bike up these hills, are you!? You’re fucking crazy!” Kyle screamed, clenching his eyes shut as he felt the bike start to make its way up the hills.

 

“Well yeah! Our date is on top of that hill! Don’t worry; we’ll get up there just fine! I fixed this bike up myself, and, if there is one thing I fucking know, its motorcycles!” Kenny said with a laugh, enjoying how Kyle was gripping onto him so tight.

 

After a bit more of driving, the motorcycle reached the top of the hill, and, Kenny put the brakes on. He had made sure to pick the hill with the perfect view. It looked down on all of South Park, best view in the whole damn town!

 

Kyle took in a deep breath when the bike stopped, and, let Kenny help him off the motorcycle. After regaining himself, he smiled when he looked out at the view. “Oh, it’s beautiful! It actually makes South Park not look like the shithole it is.” He said, before looking back at his date for the day. “Well, are you going to tell me what we are doing up here now?”

 

Kenny laughed. “You are so impatient, I’m trying to sweep you off your feet and you are just trying to take the wind out of my romantic sails.” He said, grabbing a basket and putting it on the ground. “Now, as you know, I’m not as well off as Stan and Cartman, but, that doesn’t mean I can’t show you a good time. So, why don’t you help me unpack this thing and we can get our date started.”

 

“You know I never cared about money, Ken.” Kyle said, moving to open the basket and smiled. “Romantic picnic huh? Good idea.” The red head said with a giggle, moving to help lay down the red and white checkered blanket. Once it was properly laid out, he sat on it, watching as Kenny insisted he would do the rest of the work.

 

“So, what do ya think? Not too shabby?” Kenny asked, handing the pretty red head a soda.

 

“Not shabby at all, I think this is really sweet.” Kyle said, smiling at the blond. “I like being out here, just, you know, being away from it all. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even breathe at home. My parents always want so much of me, and, with graduation this year and college coming up, it’s been even worse.” The red head admitted. “I thought maybe finally getting back from Denver would help, but, I forgot how abrasive my mother is.”

 

“Well Babe, I’m always here to lean on when you need to relax.” Kenny said, before smiling as he moved closer to his date. “Listen Kyle, everyone knows you have the best chance of getting out of here. You’ll probably move to New York or some place all fancy, have a great job, buy designer clothes, and be a success.” He said, giving the smaller teen a smile as he rested a large hand on Kyle’s thigh. “Face it, Beautiful; you’re the best this fucking town has to offer.”

 

“You make it sound like you have nothing to offer, Ken, and you know that isn’t true.” Kyle said, a frown crossing his plump pink lips.

 

“I don’t have anything to offer Kyle; I’m just some trailer trash who can fix up bikes and has had a lot of sex, I don’t have what it takes to get outta here like you do.” Kenny said noticing Kyle had gotten a bit closer. “Honestly, that’s why I wanted to make sure I got a chance with ya. I mean, next year, who knows where you’ll be, I didn’t want to miss the one chance I had to get with the most beautiful thing South Park ever had to offer.”

 

Kyle was rather speechless at that. Kenny felt that strongly about him? “D-Did…you always feel this way? I mean…even before I left for Denver?”

 

Kenny laughed as he finished his soda and opened a bag of chips. “Hell yeah I did, I always felt that way. Man, I was always so fucking jealous of you and Stan. I mean, you guys were always so close, having sleepovers, and I know you let Stan cop a feel a few times when we were in middle school. I always wished I could be your Super Best Friend instead of him. Then, it got even worse when you dated fucking David Rodriguez. That was the first time you came out of your shell, you were so fucking cute when he made you blush and when he made you giggle, and all I wanted to do was punch him in his face. I wanted to be the guy who did that to you.”

 

Kyle felt his cheeks grow red at that admission. “Well…you are certainly making me blush right now…” He admitted, looking over at his friend. “Oh Ken, you always made me blush. You always know what to say, and, how to say it.”

 

Kenny smiled a bit as he moved to wrap an arm around the red head’s shoulders. “Baby, everything I’ve said to you is the fucking truth. I know I don’t have the best track record, and, I’ve done some stupid shit, and I know your parents hate me…”

 

Kyle couldn’t help but giggle as he pressed a finger to Kenny’s lips. “My parents hating you make you even better in my eyes. I know they think you are no good, and that you’re nothing but a lowlife, but, I know you better than that. I know you’re a good guy, and just because of who your parents are and what you’ve done in the past, that doesn’t make you some kind of criminal.”

 

“You’ve always been too fucking sweet for your own good.” The blond said, leaning in, and, without permission, pressed a tender kiss to the red head’s lips.  He was rather surprised when he felt Kyle kiss him back, and, the smaller teen wrap his arms around his shoulders.

After a few moments when they parted Kenny couldn’t help but smile and lick his lips. “You’re wearing the strawberry lipgloss I like.” He breathed out.

 

“Just for you.” Kyle said with a sweet smile.

 

“I wish you would just be mine.” The blond said, moving to gently caress Kyle’s cheek. “Promise me…this won’t be the last time I can do this with you.”

 

Kyle blushed and smiled. “I still have to go on a date with Cartman, but, I don’t think this will be our last time like this together Ken.” He said, before grabbing the blond’s arm. “Now, tell me what these new tattoos are, you have so many, except right here.” He said, poking Kenny’s arm.

 

“Well, that one I’m saving. I’m gonna tattoo your name there.” Kenny said with a grin.


	9. The Third Date: Eric Cartman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Kyle and Eric's date. Can two arch nemeses become lovers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took some time to come out! I was having some issues making Cartman not horrible! So, hopefully I accomplished that! 
> 
> This chapter has Kyman (obviously) thank you for your patience with this one!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and suggestions are always appreciated!

The dates with Stan and Kenny had gone really well and now, Kyle was in the end game of this whole thing, tonight was his last date, unfortunately, and it was with Eric Cartman. Sure, Cartman had actually managed to be somewhat sweet at the mall, he had bought him an expensive shirt, and, he expressed his feelings and how he changed at the food court, but, he had such a bad track record, he wasn’t sure if he could trust him still. This could just end up being some huge prank, or, Cartman turning him over to the Klan or something…

 

He wasn’t freaking out as much as he was getting ready with Stan and Kenny, this was Cartman after all. He sighed as he put a head band in his loose curled red locks. He sighed, pulling on a white button up shirt and a maroon cardigan over it, paired with some skinny black jeans. He decided to wear his Star of David necklace with his outfit, just as a middle finger to a man who once dressed as Hitler and tried to run him out of town.

 

“Why am I doing this?” He asked himself, looking in his mirror as he sprayed on some perfume. “Fucking Fatass, just because he lost some weight and got some muscle, doesn’t mean he changed… I’ll believe it when I fucking see it.” He added. Honestly, he hated that he found Eric handsome now, he hated that the once fat asshole of a child that use to torment him was now a tall, muscular, and handsome.

 

Kyle moved to slip on some flats and start making his way downstairs, Cartman would be at his house at any moment. Of course Cartman was the wealthiest out of all four of them, he wasn’t exactly sure how, but the teen drove a brand new BMW he was gifted for his sixteenth birthday and had mentioned he was planning on taking him out to a fancy restaurant for their date. He had a feeling that Eric was going to try and buy his affection.

 

He heard a car pull up and looked out the window to see it was Eric. He sighed and started making his way downstairs; he really wasn’t looking forward to this.

 

He answered the door when the bell rang. He reluctantly opened the door and saw the new improved Eric Cartman standing in front of him. The taller teen did look nice, he was wearing a shirt that showed off those biceps of his, and, a pair of expensive jeans. God, he almost wanted to puke that he found Cartman hot; maybe it was because he was a sucker for the muscular type…

 

“Hey Cartman.” Kyle said, before he found a dozen long stemmed red roses being shoved in his arms.

 

“You look beautiful, Kahl.” Eric said a rather charming smile on his face. “And, I told you to call me Eric.” He said, taking the red head’s small hand in his. “Figured you calling me Eric will help…you know…so we can start over.”

 

Kyle looked skeptical as he put the roses in the house before closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry…Eric…but it’s going to take more than roses and a name change to forgive everything you’ve done in the past.”

 

Cartman just nodded his head. “I get you, I understand, and, I’m gonna show you I mean this, that I’ve changed.”

 

“Okay Eric, I’m all open for you trying to show me you changed your ways. But, I swear to God, if this is some kind of trick, or, I end up in some crazy scheme of yours, it’s over.” Kyle warned, moving to get into the passenger seat of BMW.

 

Cartman sighed. “Kahl, I told you I’m only going to take you out for a nice date, that’s it. I get why you’re being suspicious, I mean, it’s only natural considering your…heritage…”

 

Kyle looked at the more muscular teen dryly. “My heritage? Wow, already with the Jew remarks.”

 

“I didn’t say anything about the Jews, Kahl, now, shut up and let me charm you.” Cartman snapped, backing the car out of the driveway and towards the freeway.

 

Kyle just rolled his eyes, how Cartman was planning on doing that, he had no idea.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Eric, you didn’t have to take me out here, I know this place is expensive.” Kyle said, looking around the fancy French restaurant as they were seated. “You know, money isn’t going to make me just rip my clothes off for you.”

 

“I know that, do you think I don’t know that? Hell, you went on a date with Kinny, and that guy has no money at all, you’re a lot harder to woo then most people.” Cartman pointed out, before taking a sip of his water. It was always so strange seeing him drink only water now, and not guzzling Mountain Dew.

 

“Well, you’ve always been fond of money, so, I couldn’t help but wonder.” Kyle said, watching as Eric just sighed.

 

“Well, money never got me what I fucking really wanted anyways, so who cares about it.” Cartman snapped, almost in a defensive manner.

 

That caused Kyle to put his menu down and look at the brunette. “What did you never get? Growing up, you got everything you ever wanted. You got gifts on my birthday for the love of God.” The red head said. “You got that BMW when you turned sixteen; you got all the game systems right when they came out.” He said.

 

Cartman just sighed. “Yeah, well, none of that money got you, now did it?” He said, putting his own menu down.

 

“Me? You’re saying I’m the thing you wanted but couldn’t have?” Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, Kahl. Like I told you, it was always you and Stan, or you and Kinny, but, things got worse when fucking David Rodriguez came into the picture! That asshole came out of nowhere and swept you off your feet! Once you started dating him, it was like I didn’t even exist. Nothing could get your attention when you were with him. Every time I looked over at you, you were with him, giggling, smiling, kissing…” He said, before sighing. “So, I saw what kind of man you were interested in, I noticed David was rather…muscular…so I started going to the gym, bulking up, not being the fatass anymore.” He said, realizing Kyle was starting to finally get it. He had done all of this, just for him! He had turned his entire life around for Kyle Broflovski!

 

“E-Eric…. You…did all of that for me? I…don’t know what to say… I never realized that I was so…important to you.” The red head said, before Cartman put something down on the table, sliding it to him. It looked like a thick black ledger. “What…is this?” He asked, almost afraid to open up the binder.

 

Eric couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “C’mon Kahl, I’m on a date with you, it isn’t a fucking bomb…just open it…” He said, letting out a sigh as he watched the red head slowly open the ledger.

 

Kyle raised an eyebrow as he looked through the pages. This was… What was this? He skimmed the pages and felt his green eyes go wide.  “Eric…this…this is…” He stammered out, before looking up at his old arch nemesis.

 

“It’s an apology for every single shitty thing I’ve ever done to you. For trying to kill all the gingers, for making fun of you being a Jew, for calling your mom a dumb fat bitch, for all the other stupid I shit did. I remembered everything I did, and, every time I hurt you, every time I made you cry… So, I wrote it all down, and I apologized for every single fucking thing.” Cartman explained. “I know this was the thing you really wanted for me. No sweater, no necklace, no amount of money I could throw at you would be worth more than this…”

 

Kyle was speechless, he was actually speechless. This was perhaps one of the most kind and romantic actions he had ever witnessed, and, it was coming from Eric Fucking Cartman. He put the binder down and looked at the man across from him. This certainly wasn’t the Cartman he grew up with, he wasn’t the fat angry boy anymore, now, he was a remorseful muscular man. He bit his lower lip and tried not to just burst into tears. “E-Eric…” He said softly, before getting out of his seat and going over to his date for the evening. He smiled, before leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to the man’s cheek, leaving behind a lipgloss mark.

 

“So, I’m guessing you liked it?” Eric said, smiling a bit as he actually had a bit of a blush on his cheeks after the kiss.

 

“I do….I really do…” The red head said. “I didn’t think you had it in you to actually be so…sweet.” Kyle admitted, going back to his seat and sitting down.

 

~*~*~*~

 

After dinner, Kyle had agreed to go up to the lookout point with Eric. He had actually been rather impressed, and, was starting to believe the other teen was actually genuine about his intentions. They were just sitting in Eric’s BMW, looking out on the lights of South Park below them.

 

“You…look really beautiful in this light…you know…the moonlight…” Eric said, before clearing his throat. “Your skin is so pale…it just like glows in this light…” He added, sounding a bit nervous as he looked over at the red head.

 

Kyle smiled and actually found himself blushing. “Thanks. I never told you I thought you looked handsome tonight.” He said, looking at his date. “I really like that shirt you’re wearing, it shows off your bicep muscles…and your chest muscles…” He said, batting his eyelashes at Eric. Was he flirting with Cartman? Yes, yes he was. “You were right, I do like muscles on a guy.” He said, moving to rest his hands on the other teen’s arm, feeling the hard muscles.

 

Eric smiled and moved to gently caress the red head’s cheek. “I did it for you, so, I’m glad you like them. I made sure they were bigger then David’s…and Stan’s…and Kinny’s…” He said, leaning in a bit closer to his date.

 

“I will admit, they are bigger then all of theirs.” Kyle said, before laughing a little. “Eric…you can kiss me if you want to.”

 

“Well, just wanted to make sure.” Eric said, before leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to the red head’s lips.

 

After a few moments, and Kyle sticking his tongue into Eric’s mouth, they separated.

 

“This was really nice Eric, I had a good time.” Kyle said. “Thank you for everything, and, thank you for the apology…that meant the most to me.”

 

“I’m glad. I figured that would mean more to you than any kind of jewelry I could have bought you.” Cartman said, before taking a hand in his. “I hope we can do this again.”

 

The red head smiled. “I think we will be able to do this again, Eric, I want to do this again.”

 

The couple spent the rest of the evening looking out at the stars in the brunette’s car.


End file.
